Placing Blame

It’s very interesting how we tend to blame others for our circumstances or for what’s “lacking” in our lives. It seems that we think our outcomes and results are dependent on others support or the reactions of those in our sphere.

I remember a day when I had that mindset as well. I went to Bible College (yes that’s a thing) in a day when women being in ministry (as a pastor) was not a very accepted or popular thing to do. Female roles at that time were very limited and restricted. I had hoped to be helping people and using my gifts but was often relegated to things that was a lot more accepted and comfortable for those around me… that being said, I had thought that if I just had a title then I could do what I believed God had wanted me to do. I believed that if I could just have the support of the people around me, that I thought I needed, then I would be able to become that person I wanted to be in the end.

Life has taught me that what people think of me is not my business.

Life has taught me that what people think of me is not my business. Life has taught me that whatever I want to accomplish is 100% my responsibility and in my hands. Life has taught me that the only way I can become “that person” I want to become, is to live like I am that person NOW and see myself grow as a result. And life has taught me to hold every dream I have in an open palm because we need to be ready to move and pivot when needed to see the results we are after.

My inability to get out of my head, and constantly needing that acceptance from others is what was limiting me. Placing blame on the system I found myself in and the lack of support from other women, especially, was a wall I didn’t understand how to tackle. It was so frustrating and debilitating in a lot of ways. But I found other avenues to see success. I realized that I had to think outside of the box and be willing to fail. That regardless of what the “powers that be” thought, I would try… HARDER! Starting a music school which grew to over 300 students in less than 3 years was a huge marker for me. It made me realize that I can do anything I set my mind to and am willing to work hard at. It made me realize that I don’t “need” people to take care of me or decide if I’m worthy or “should” try something! It made me realize that placing such high expectations and authority on other people is wrong and unnecessary. Other humans don’t have control over my life. If I want to do something worthwhile then I can, and I should! It’s up to me.

Life has taught me to hold every dream I have in an open palm because we need to be ready to move and pivot when needed to see the results we are after.

Although that part of my life is laid down (which I’m totally ok with LOL) it has taught me a lot about who I was, who I am and that my life is not something dependent on other people’s thoughts and opinions. My goals are my own and I am the only one who can get me there (with God’s help). My attitude towards myself and those around me matters and will either make the journey hard or even harder.** Newsflash! Anything worth doing is hard. Amazing but hard - I’ve also realized that God blesses everything we do, regardless of what it is, if it’s done with authenticity and with truth; trusting him every step of the way.

Today I am very much using my gifts, my businesses and everything I’ve learned to help others and coach/guide them towards a life that won’t place blame where it is not suited and to continually grow into the people they are aiming towards. I’m always growing and learning and willing to try new things. There is no destination just the beautiful journey we create.

Looking Back To Look Forward

Reflection

I’m not one to stay in the past very long… I like moving forward, thinking ahead, having goals and working towards them. I tend to believe that when we are constantly looking to the past, we either get stuck and think, “those are the glory days”, nothing can be as good as back then, and therefor stop moving forward and change /grow as needed. Or, we allow ourselves to get overwhelmed by the future and all the possible good and bad, that we never move forward.

The past can definitely teach us things and show us what HAD worked in the past. It can also show us what was definitely a bad idea given the circumstances at the time ~ hindsight is 20/20, right?

And that can be a whole other BLOG post …. 🤔

Today I want to talk about how it is important to spend a little bit of time looking at the past to show us how far we’ve come. When you’re an entrepreneur, it is so easy to look at the accomplishments of others and the seeming speed in which they were accomplished. It can be discouraging when we compare where we are now to where someone else currently is - never considering all the road blocks they’ve encountered or the amount of effort they were able to commit.

When we reflect on what life was like before we started, what our goals were back then to today, it can be very encouraging.

I remember when I started my Rodan + Fields business, I didn’t know what to think. I had never started a business like this before. I thought, at the bare minimum, I would just be covering my own skincare costs and helping a few friends with their skin… Then when I had seen some amazing women on my team accomplishing amazing things through this business it definitely enlightened me to the possibilities, and then I started to run! But like all things that are worth doing, it’s not always easy. It takes time, effort, growth, consistency and being willing to hear the word no, a lot.

When you’re an entrepreneur you don’t do it because the road is going to be easy peasy… we do it because we know that we have something that people need and we know the value of what we’re offering.

But when we forget where we were when we started, it’s easy to forget that we’re always on a journey. We’re definitely moving forward if we’re doing all the things, but we can get distracted by the fact that we haven’t “arrived” at our destination yet. Don’t forget though, I don’t believe that a true entrepreneur ever “arrives”… we’re always seeing the possibilities and the value in different opportunities. We thrive on helping people and being able to offer incredible things that they will benefit from. There’s always room for more. That’s what makes us special, I think.

So, although I would never encourage you to keep looking backwards instead of keeping your head in the game, I do encourage you to take the time once in a while to look at how far you’ve come. That even though some people will never understand why you’re doing something, or if it seems like your lane is the slow lane and others seems to be moving faster than you, the truth is that you are still moving forward and are a lot farther down the road than when you started. Keep your chin up! You’ve got this! 🏁

The 10 X Rule: A BOOK REVIEW!!!

I like to listen and read books that will motivate me and challenge me to be better either as a person or be better as an entrepreneur. I’ve read that the most successful people read A LOT! Like A LOT!! Even if they can glean 1 thing that will make them better or that they can implement that will improve their business or lifestyle , it is well worth it.

I have found that reading/listening to various books have either confirmed what I believe or have challenged me to get better. I am not where I want to be, that is 💯 the truth! But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be bettering myself and pushing forward every day. Every step forward gets me closer to where I want to be, and closer to the kind of person I need to be.

Today is BOOK REVIEW DAY!!

I recently finished listening to The 10X Rule by Grant Cardone. In my opinion this was exactly what I needed to listen to at the time! I was surprised by how quickly I went through it actually.

Usually I try to read/listen to 1 chapter a day. I could spend more time and finish these books faster but my intention is to learn and implement. If all I’m doing is learning and not working, then I’m using these times of learning as an excuse not to do the work I need to reach my goals. That would be a disservice to myself and to what I want to accomplish in my life.

The 10X Rule was read by the author which I love! You get to hear the true voice behind his words. The real expressions and feelings! I love that.

The thing that I personally needed to hear (but may be something to prepare yourself for) is the way he expressed himself. By listening to this audiobook, I gather that Grant Cardone is a very passionate, driven and expressive man. Someone who knows what he knows and goes after what he wants! He doesn’t play around with making you feel comfortable with the truths he’s taking about.

Success is NEVER something we fall into. It takes work, determination, grit and the willingness to go over and above.

You either get it, or you don’t. You either want it, or you don’t. You’ll either go over and above to get what you want for your family, or you won’t.

He may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but his words and the truth and severity of that truth was definitely my cup of coffee. (LOL ☕️)

The thing is that most of us don’t have goals just because… we have them because they will change our circumstances and the lives of our families. Truly, there are no room for excuses. We have to do our best and then ramp that up by 10X if we want to see our goals happen. I believe that. I believe that we often want to take the easy route, do the bare minimum and then give up when things aren’t happening the way we want them to. We make excuses and say that it was the wrong time for me, or I’m not cut out for that, or no one would buy from me, or whatever.

The bare minimum allows us to think our situations are out of our control. The bare minimum allows set backs to be in control of our lives. Doing the bare minimum also shows people what they’d be getting into with us… the bare minimum. That is not a great thing to have on our resume.

“Hi I’m Kathy. I only do what I have to. Don’t expect anything more from me. I will wait for you to trust me first before I do anything over and above. I expect people to just give me what I want when I want it and not have to do anything extra to get it.”

Haha 😂 that is what it sounds like to me… If we want to have success in whatever area of our lives, guaranteed, we have to do more than the next guy. We have to work harder and strive and fail and pick ourselves back up, and keep going and do that whole cycle again and again.

I’m definitely not saying that I’m perfect at that! I’m not saying that at all. But what I am saying is that this book has confirmed that success is NEVER something we fall into. It takes work, determination, grit and the willingness to go over and above.

So YES! I would recommend The 10X Rule by Grant Cardone. Absolutely! This book is not for the faint at heart. It is for the heart that needs a kick in the pants!