Placing Blame


It’s very interesting how we tend to blame others for our circumstances or for what’s “lacking” in our lives. It seems that we think our outcomes and results are dependent on others support or the reactions of those in our sphere.

I remember a day when I had that mindset as well. I went to Bible College (yes that’s a thing) in a day when women being in ministry (as a pastor) was not a very accepted or popular thing to do. Female roles at that time were very limited and restricted. I had hoped to be helping people and using my gifts but was often relegated to things that was a lot more accepted and comfortable for those around me… that being said, I had thought that if I just had a title then I could do what I believed God had wanted me to do. I believed that if I could just have the support of the people around me, that I thought I needed, then I would be able to become that person I wanted to be in the end.


Life has taught me that what people think of me is not my business.

Life has taught me that what people think of me is not my business. Life has taught me that whatever I want to accomplish is 100% my responsibility and in my hands. Life has taught me that the only way I can become “that person” I want to become, is to live like I am that person NOW and see myself grow as a result. And life has taught me to hold every dream I have in an open palm because we need to be ready to move and pivot when needed to see the results we are after.

My inability to get out of my head, and constantly needing that acceptance from others is what was limiting me. Placing blame on the system I found myself in and the lack of support from other women, especially, was a wall I didn’t understand how to tackle. It was so frustrating and debilitating in a lot of ways. But I found other avenues to see success. I realized that I had to think outside of the box and be willing to fail. That regardless of what the “powers that be” thought, I would try… HARDER! Starting a music school which grew to over 300 students in less than 3 years was a huge marker for me. It made me realize that I can do anything I set my mind to and am willing to work hard at. It made me realize that I don’t “need” people to take care of me or decide if I’m worthy or “should” try something! It made me realize that placing such high expectations and authority on other people is wrong and unnecessary. Other humans don’t have control over my life. If I want to do something worthwhile then I can, and I should! It’s up to me.

Life has taught me to hold every dream I have in an open palm because we need to be ready to move and pivot when needed to see the results we are after.

Although that part of my life is laid down (which I’m totally ok with LOL) it has taught me a lot about who I was, who I am and that my life is not something dependent on other people’s thoughts and opinions. My goals are my own and I am the only one who can get me there (with God’s help). My attitude towards myself and those around me matters and will either make the journey hard or even harder.** Newsflash! Anything worth doing is hard. Amazing but hard - I’ve also realized that God blesses everything we do, regardless of what it is, if it’s done with authenticity and with truth; trusting him every step of the way.

Today I am very much using my gifts, my businesses and everything I’ve learned to help others and coach/guide them towards a life that won’t place blame where it is not suited and to continually grow into the people they are aiming towards. I’m always growing and learning and willing to try new things. There is no destination just the beautiful journey we create.

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